Bible in 90 Days: Check in 5

Days 22-28
I Sam 28.20-II Sam 12:10 
II Sam 12:11-22:18II Sam 22:19-I King 7:37
I King 7:38-16:20
I King 16:21-II King 4:37
II King 4:38-II King 15:26
II King 15:27-25:30

Complete fail.  I'll try to catch up this week.

I've always loved when David sang to the Lord:  (II Samuel 22:2-3)
"The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;

 ³ my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
       my shield and the horn ^[a] of my salvation.
       He is my stronghold, my refuge and my savior— 

one thousand gifts 31-50

(The one in which I am thankful for family)

1. My parents:  I think they'd do just about anything for me if needed.
2. My brother Charles: Who has, on more than one occasion listened to me cry over the phone, 2000 miles away.
3. My brother Ken: Who's always a quiet, strong, stable force.
4. My SIL Shelle: Who helped teach my to drive, gave me my first alcoholic drink, and a book called "How to kiss with confidence".  LOL (Okay I TOTALLY just got you in trouble with Mom Shelle!! LOL  And Mike says "Thanks for the book~!")
5. My SIL Kris: Who is just the sweetest person and who my daughter thinks is great and hilarious.
6. My SIL Lori: Who is going through h*ll right now but standing firm.
7. My BIL Bruce: Who is there helping my MIL with what she needs when Mike can't be there.
8. My MIL who is building a stronger relationship with Mike day by day. 
9. My nephew Joe who watches out for my girl on Runescape and curses out anyone who harrasses her. Go Joe!
10. The remainder of my gagillion other  nephews who are building small businesses, computer geeks, bruisers, skateboarders, band geeks, funny,kind kids.
11. My 3 nieces: All three are curly girls (Rah!!!), two of them are girly ones and  one is a  fantabulous tom-boy (Go Leila that's my girl!!!)
12. My teenage son who has a very dry wit.  He makes me laugh all of the time.
13. My teenage daughter who is not afraid to be who she wants to be.
14. My 9 year old who is so full of emotions they always bubble out of him.
15. My 7 year old sweetheart who is the most loving little boy ever.
16. My husband, the most beautiful man I know.
17. My husband, the most gentle man I know.
18. My husband, the most kind man I know.
19. My husband, the one who is always there for me.
20. My husband, my best friend in the world.

Psalm 94:19 : Cares of my heart are many

Oh yes, the cares are many.  
The anxiety is multiplying.
My fears envelope my mind.
My OCD takes over.
I worry.
I cry.
I sob.


Last time this happened it took us 2 weeks to save up the money to fix it.


This time we are thinking 3 maybe 4.


3 maybe 4 weeks of washing dishes in a dish pan.
3 maybe 4 weeks of doing laundry by running the water out of the washer into a garbage can and emptying it 3 times per wash.
3 maybe 4 weeks.
Sigh.


I AM thankful the toilets aren't clogged.  It's just a line in the kitchen area.
I AM thankful I can shower with no worries.
I AM thankful.


I DO wish that the snake had been able to clear the line.
I DO wish it wasn't going to cost (at my best recollection) $90 to have it snaked.  5 minutes of work for Roto-rooter, but we just can't get it.


I get tired of the walk.
I get so tired.
Of the constant.
Never ending.
Something.
That is always happening.


But I know we are lucky we have "things" for the something to happen to.
I just wish it didn't happen quite so often.


(Trying to be thankful still, plumber called about $105 to snake the sink.  Off to cry now, if I had $105 to spare I'd buy my 15 year old clothes that fit him.  He's wearing all men's small and needs men's mediums.  Poor kid outgrew EVERYTHING this year, and I do mean EVERY LAST THING)

HOTM: Wee Willie Winkie

When my first son was born someone bought us a cassette (yes a cassette tape) with bedtime songs for the nursery. One of the songs was Wee Willie Winkie. I never put Dylan down to bed in his crib unless he was already asleep, but I DID play that cassette every single day. I loved the peacefulness of the songs. For whatever reason Wee Willie Winkie really stuck with me.

Read the rest of the post here.

Laughter is good for the soul

Proverbs 17:22 A cheerful heart is good medicine.

 They sit on the couch giggling almost every single day.  Dude is one of those guys who has a loud booming laugh.  In fact, it rather reminds me of my oldest brother's laugh.  It short, it's quick, and everyone has to look around quickly to see if it was a laugh or something else.  He literally erupts with laughter.  The extremely high-pitched laugh belongs to Ski.  It's a laugh that makes everyone else in the room laugh, plus his giggle box gets turned over (that's my Mom's saying! Awesome huh!) and he can't stop laughing.  The rest of us crack up.  Mike and Punkin share similar laughs, quiet, dignified, controlled.  Although if you can really get them laughing they'll let go.  Fabio hides his face and cracks up.  Me?  I'm one of those explosive laughter people.  I burst out and then I can't stop.  Mike calls it maniacal and claims to like it so much he works every single day to see that laugh.  

What's your laugh?  Doesn't it feel great to have a good laugh!?

Wednesday: Be Still

Hi! If you are here from iFellowship I wanted to give you a great big HOWDY!! Nice to meet you.   If you are here from WFW...same to yoU! Thank yoU for stopping by! I am so glad to meet you all.  

Today I am thinking about wimpy-ness. I think someone could write a book about me called "Diary of a wimpy Mom".  Because you know what?  I am a total complete wuss.  That's always been relatively acceptable, until the kids got older.  Being a wuss Mom is not a good idea with teens.  (Just so you know).  I like to keep my kids happy and I tend to cater to them.  Don't get me wrong, they are GREAT kids and I thank God every.single.day that they don't push the envelope with me.

But there are a few areas that they do push things.  They won't eat a darn thing I cook.  I mean...I am a danged good cook.  But they are picky.  About the only vegetables they'll eat are pickles...oh and ketchup (Okay fine, they all eat fresh spinach).  If I make a nice meal, such as Kung Pao Chicken and Fried Rice...they'll eat PB&J.  Grilled cheese?  Only if it's good cheese.  Water?  Only if it's ice cold.  Salad? Not on your life.  You're getting the basic idea.

It's HARD to feed these kids and it's especially hard since we are on a tight tight budget.  I have literally BEGGED for more help in this department from Mike, I need him to help me take a stand, but he's in the sequel of the movie about me: Diary of a Wimpy Dad, so he's not a lot of help.
But today...the hammer falls.  (Is that the saying?)  Today is the end of it all.  They will eat what I make or they will go hungry.  I am tired of bending over backwards for them and frankly, my back hurts.  The load I carry to keep them happy is getting to be too much for me.

Where does all of this come from?  Well we are in debt.  Loads and loads of debt.  We are slowly chipping away at it, but it's VERY slow.  We have $100/week for groceries AND gas.  Yes, you read that right. $100/week.  Plus both cars are due for oil changes, it's been a month since I've driven my van (Oh how I pray for a full gas tank. But I can't afford to fill it and I miss my van (now I am tearing up, over a silly van)) and we over $7000 to the hospital for saving my life.  Mike insists I am worth it. Sometimes I wonder.

We looked into DMP's and DSP's and realized that we would be destroying ourselves and putting far too much stress on ourselves by joining those programs.  (In fact, we signed up for one and then called and cancelled after a night of panic attacks.)  But there's a light at the end of the tunnel.  It's a LONG tunnel, and a faint light...but it's there.  And we'll get there, as soon as we build up our backbones and quit getting pushed around.

So I am going to "Be still".  And Pray, a whole lot.  And cry, probably even more.  And I am going to stop thinking about  the "what ifs", you know "What if I had $200 I could fill my Old Mother hubbard cupboard?" , "What if I hadn't been stupid with credit?",  "What if...what if...what if..." And I am going to lock my knees, dig my feet in and brace myself for the onslaught.